Updated: Jan 9, 2020
Welcome to 2020! These are the show notes from my PODCAST Blooming! A Healthy Home by Design.
I’m so excited for this new decade and I’m so grateful that you have decided to tune in! If you are new here to Blooming, A healthy home by design. You should know that I like to talk about how to create wellness @ home and how our home environment supports overall wellness for our entire family! And because it’s the start of a new year, i like to think about where i’m headed, what are my plans and my goals are for myself and my family. We talked a little bit about family goals last week, and so I hope you enjoyed that episode and you were able to use the free worksheets to help you organize and plan those with your family! Check out episode 13 if you haven’t done that already and you can get the free downloadable worksheets by going to my website www.luxlivingsocal.com/gifts. I’m planning to add more cheatsheets, templates and other great stuff each week so check that out if you want. So, let’s just assume you’ve made your goals for the year. Today, I’m going to talk about the ONE thing you are going to need to make those goals a reality. And the ONE thing that can transform you family for the better, going forward!! So we’ll get to that in a minute….This year I’ve decided i’m going to organize topics and group them into Seasons. I believe there are 15 areas of our lives that contribute to overall wellness, and I group those areas into 3 different categories. Personal Growth, Relationships & Health. Because let’s face it, if you are struggling in an area of personal growth or relationships, no amount of kale or green juice is going to fix that! So it’s important to understand what these different areas of our lives are and how becoming conscious of our actions and behaviors and habits will help lead to making better decisions! Because once you are aware, that’s when you can start creating change and attracting what you want in the behavior of others, in yourself and in the life you want to create. So Season 2 will be all about personal growth and how the home can support that area of our lives. So I’m super excited today’s episode, and can’t wait to get started, so let’s grow!
Hey! Welcome back and I just wanted to wish you a happy new year! I hope that you had a great time with family and friends, my daughter has just left to back to school, and my oldest will head back in the next couple of weeks. So we’ll be getting back into our routine of things again pretty soon with my youngest heading back to high school tomorrow. So, I was thinking, routine, it’s so easy to just get back into the groove of things and then a few weeks go by and we realize we haven’t accomplished what we want or that the time has just flown by! And if we keep up this routine of just going through the motions and getting through the day, before we know it weeks and months have gone by and we find ourselves in the same or worse situations when next January rolls around. So what’s the ONE thing we can change that will stop this cycle? And why do I even care? Well let me ask you this, do you sometimes think, there’s not enough time in the day to get what I need done! Or there’s too much for me to do and no one that can help. Or that I’m stuck in a cycle that keeps repeating whatever that is, and I just can’t get unstuck. Maybe you don’t feel like people understand you and that you have good intentions and you try to help and no one appreciates you. It’s hard being a mom! I got you tho! I feel like sometimes life can be so frustrating because i’m running around trying to do everything and it’s like no one cares sometimes. We all have our good days and bad days but I really do think that with simple adjustments we can create more good days.
A few years ago I actually was in a much worse place mentally than I am today. We had moved from Seattle down to San Diego, and then back to Seattle, and then back again - in a matter of 2 1/2 years. We had bought and sold homes and moved all of our stuff every single move. We had teens in high school and middle school who were not happy with the moves either. So let’s just say as a mom, i was pretty stressed out. Every single decision my husband and I made I would play and re-play over and over even in my dreams coming up with alternative endings hoping that maybe my life at that moment would change . I would wish I had made different decisions and spend tons of energy and time being sad and depressed about choices we had made that at the time we made them, we felt like they were the best decision for our family. I ended up giving myself frozen shoulder. It literally locked up on me and I couldn’t move it. I had to go to PT for a year before it got better. I remember crying and literally shaking on the table as my personal trainer worked my shoulder and asked about how I got it. I had a Somatics trainer who taught me how to breathe and contract the muscles and then slowly mindfully release them and that process would allow you to relax the muscles more than the movement alone. He was teaching me how powerful the mind is.
I had two PTs and they both were very concerned with how stressed I was and encouraged me to find ways to relax and to read a bunch of spiritual books. It’s been a few years now since I’ve read them, but I remember my favorites were The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. I remember both of those books making a profound impact on the way I thought about things. They completely changed my perspective to a whole new viewpoint I hadn’t considered before. So I would highly recommend you check those out if you are open to having a new perspective on life. The funny thing was that when I was downloading one of the books I recognized the cover! and I went to the kitchen cupboard and there it was! What? Then I remembered that someone had given me that book for me to read! And I don’t even remember who it was!! But clearly at the time it was given to me, I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready for the info - and I didn’t even read it. I just put it up on the shelf. But now I was ready, and when i did finally read it, it made a lasting impression on me. I felt more open to thinking of things differently than I had before. I was more open to seeing how my reactions, my interactions and my behaviors played a role in how I was treated. I was open to realizing that it wasn’t ONLY my intentions that mattered - if my approach was causing a negative reaction then maybe I should consider changing my approach rather than blaming others.
It was at this same time that a friend recommended I join an Oprah Deepack Meditation Challenge. Oprah was doing one each quarter, although I don’t know if she does them anymore with Deepack, but you can still get the old ones. In fact I have several of them on my phone. And I would listen to their words of wisdom for about 5 or 6 minutes and then there would be calm music and this helped me fall asleep at a time when I couldn’t do that very easily. And I would wake up feeling so great, but then i couldn’t remember what I learned!! So then i thought I would listen first thing int he morning too. I’d wake up 20 min early and pop my headphones in and just listen before I had to actually get up to start my day. I actually still do this now - it’s such a great way for me to start my day with a positive message. But the funny thing was as I heard it a second time, I would recall some of the things that were said - like yes, i heard this last night…… but then when i would try to tell my friends about the great message I learned - it wouldn’t be in my brain. I know I’m getting old but really? It was then that I started looking at the app and realized there was a journal. Once I started journaling and answering the questions and applying the lesson into my life - that’s when the change actually started to happen. That’s when I started remembering what was said in each lesson. Thats when change started happening in my life and in my relationships and in my personal growth.
So the ONE thing - I want to tell you today - it’s actually has 2 parts. The first is realizing how powerful your mind is, and what you tell yourself matters. People are realizing this and you’ll see it all over the internet and social media. It’s not new news but still people underestimate the power of the mind. They underestimate it by not realizing that what you tell yourself actually subconsciously affects your behaviors and the choices you make each day. For example, if i tell my self, i”m not a morning person and I continue to tell people that. Who has a hard time waking up? Who wants to keep pressing snooze? Why do I tell myself that? it’s because i believe it to be true. But why ? because the fact is that I COULD be a morning person if I wanted to. It’s just easier to give myself the excuse that I ‘m not a morning person. It allows me to justifiably stay up late and be grumpy in the morning! Here’s another example - telling myself - there’s not enough time in the day or that no one appreciates me. That’s me blaming time or others for my overwhelm or my frustration. Rather than looking at how I can do things differently.
So if you want to learn more about mindset - look up growth mindset vs fixed mindset. Stanford psychologist Carol Dwek, wrote a book about it called Mindset the New Psychology of Success - she tells us that by changing the simplest beliefs that we tell ourselves everyday can have a profound affect on the course of our lives! And if you don’t care necessarily about the course of your own life, read it for your children, because you would definitely want to foster a growth mindset for your kids - it would set them up to be sucessful adults no matter what college they end up going to. I wish I had known about this years ago, I would have done so many things differently! I would have focused less on grades and focused more on learning and embracing challenges, understanding that mistakes and challenges are just opportunities for growth not obstacles to success. Of course I’m not saying grades aren’t important, but as a society we place so much importance on the grade that it doesn’t’ matter if they learn as long as they get the grade. So i you have young kids, my advice to you would be - foster a love of learning and praise the learning and the determination your kids have to get through the struggles and challenges. look for the hardship they faced and praise that - don’t focus on the end result being the only thing that matters.
So the first thing is having an open mind to considering how you can change your beliefs, your intentions, actions, and reactions that are aligned with what you want your life to look like. OK the second part of this one thing is for you to visualize where you want your family to be in the next 6-12 months and to write it down, journal and then take action to incorporate your goals into your daily life. Maybe your goal is health related, maybe it’s relationship related, maybe its personal growth related, whatever the goal, write it down - break it down into small baby steps or actions you can take to reach baby milestones each day or week and then do.
I went to a great networking launch event for this wellness company I’m working with and II love the inspiration that comes from those things. One of the quotes I wrote down was
DO or DO NOT - THERE IS NO TRY - YODA.
That Yoda - he’s so wise! And my friend Karen and was telling me about this exercise that her and my other friend Monica are going to do and it’s such a good one, I'm totally going to do it. So, you write yourself a letter. A letter that you pretend you are in the future writing yourself or a friend. You pretend its 1 year form now, and you are reflecting on your past year. You talk about all the things you did this year that were positive for you and your family. You can say anything! And elaborate! My family went on this great vacation, and we grew our business, we sold our home and moved into our dream home, or we remodeled our kitchen or whatever it is, write it down like it already happened. And then read it to yourself every night or every morning. I’m gong to do this. I’m pretty excited because I got a lot going on t his year and so I’m excited to take massive action on it all and have an amazing year!!
So now you know what to do, how can our home environment support this? Creating a quiet place for meditation in your home can support your sense of calm or peace. It can be your office, or your bedroom or anywhere that feels good to you. You can cave out a little corner or use a reading nook or even your bed! Keep the room clean and uncluttered because that will reduce stress and make it comfortable, add pillows or soft cushions to sit on. Check your lighting, somewhere near a window or with a view can be quite inspiring, maybe a skylight is streaming in. Sunlight can be so peaceful because it brings us back to nature. If you don’t have a window, consider dimming the lights and lighting a candle. Maybe bring a plant into the space, we talked about plants in season 1 episode 3 - so listen to that one if you have a chance it’s good.. If you have a dedicated space you can personalize it with meaning fun photos or art. And then bring in soft peaceful music or download a meditation app - calm is a good one and my fave is Oprah Deepak’s meditation experience. Lastly - you can add some essential oils. Aromatherapy has been shown to help you relax and clear your mind!
So just to recap - the ONE thing that can transform your year for you and your family…….. Have an open mindset -what’s the definition of mindset? Google says: its the established set of beliefs held by someone. So when I say have an open mindset, I just mean open your mind to learning new things and things that may be different from what you believe to be true! Be open to different perspectives and different ways of thinking. Look into growth mindset and adopt that. Tell yourself things that you WANT to manifest to be true instead of things that limit you. You can say, "I’m not a morning person YET, but I will be because I want to change that, and I’m working on that today by going to bed 30 min early." See how that is so much better? It is working towards the change you want to make but it's still believable and true. Now the 2nd part of the ONE thing is to write down where you want to be so you can incorporate those baby action steps into your daily life. And then to have your home support you in this way - consider creating a little meditation area in your home!
choose a space that feels good
clean and declutter the space
make it comfortable
look at the lighting
bring in nature
add a beautiful scents
I guarantee doing this for yourself can give you so much peace and clarity. It has for me and so I wish you the most amazing 2020! the most amazing January! Wellness is so much more than diet and exercise and I wish you and your family total wellness. I’ve created some free worksheets to go along with this episode - one to help you start your letter to yourself and one that prompts you questions about your mindset. So feel free to download those for free on my website: www.luxlivingsocal.com/gifts and you don’t need to input your email - because i don’t like having to give my email for everything so i’m not asking for yours - just click on the item and it will immediately download for you.
Ok! I hope you enjoyed this episode and I can’t wait for you to start improving your personal and family wellbeing! Have a great day and thanks again for taking the time to stop by! If you enjoyed this, you might enjoy Creating a Calm Environment at Home or The Psychology of Color.